Have you ever given yourself a gift? I don’t mean a fancy gadget or an expensive meal (though those are delightful). I’m talking about the kind of gift that costs time, attention, and honesty—a true act of generosity towards yourself.
If you’re anything like me, the idea might make you squirm a little. Isn’t it selfish to focus on yourself? Shouldn’t generosity be about others? But here’s the twist: the better we are at giving to ourselves, the more meaningful our generosity becomes.
Let’s unpack this with a bit of humour and a dash of philosophy—because if we can’t laugh at life while pondering its mysteries, what’s the point?
The Paradox of Generosity
Generosity is often painted as a one-way street: a giver and a receiver, with the giver basking in the moral glow of their selflessness. But have you noticed how uncomfortable it feels when someone says, you need to be more generous to yourself? It’s as if we’re being handed a riddle with no answer key. Why does generosity towards ourselves feel harder than giving to others?
Here’s my theory: we’ve internalised the idea that being good means being selfless. But selflessness, taken to extremes, leaves us empty. Generosity isn’t about depleting your own reserves; it’s about sharing from abundance. And abundance starts with you. If you’re running on fumes, you can’t give much to anyone—least of all yourself.
Giving the Gift of Time
One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is time. Time to walk, to think, to just be. I’ve learned this while recording episodes of the story pilgrim. Wandering through cities, forests, or even my own neighbourhood, I’ve realised that carving out space for myself isn’t indulgence—it’s survival.
Think about the last time you gave yourself permission to do nothing. Not the accidental kind of nothing where you’re scrolling social media and suddenly an hour’s gone—I mean intentional nothing. Sitting quietly. Walking without a destination. Listening to your thoughts without judgement. It’s liberating, isn’t it? And a little terrifying. But this is where we start to reconnect with ourselves, to hear the whispers beneath the noise.
Connection: The Gift That Keeps on Giving
Generosity is a form of connection. When we give to others, we’re saying, I see you. I value you. But what about when we give to ourselves? It’s the same message: I see you. I value you. And yet, connecting with ourselves often feels harder than connecting with others. Why?
Because we’re complicated, messy creatures. It’s easier to focus outward than to face our own inner chaos. But when we take the time to connect with ourselves, to honour our needs and desires, we lay the groundwork for deeper connections with others. How can we truly see someone else if we’re unwilling to see ourselves?
Practical (and Fun) Ways to Be Generous to Yourself
- Write Yourself a Letter – Imagine you’re your own best friend. What would they say to you? Write it down. You’ll be amazed at the kindness you’re capable of showing yourself.
- Take a Solo Adventure – Go somewhere you’ve always wanted to visit. Bring a notebook or just your curiosity. No agenda, no expectations—just you and the world.
- Treat Yourself to Quiet – Turn off your devices. Sit in a park or your favourite chair. Let your mind wander. It’s like giving your brain a deep breath.
- Celebrate Small Wins – Did you finish a project? Cook a decent meal? Get through a tough day? Celebrate it. Life is made up of small victories, and they deserve recognition.
A Gentle Reminder
Generosity isn’t about grand gestures or constant giving. It’s about presence. It’s about saying, I’m here, and I care, whether to a friend, a stranger, or yourself. When we learn to give ourselves the same kindness we offer others, we unlock something powerful: the ability to give without expectation, to connect without pretence, and to live with a little more ease.
So, next time someone tells you to be generous to yourself, don’t roll your eyes. Think of it as an experiment, a practice, a gift. After all, who deserves your generosity more than you?
